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Proud To Be British

Discussion in 'Jokes & Funny Stuff' started by katzinthehouse, Nov 1, 2004.

  1. katzinthehouse New Member

    >>>>VERY PROUD TO BE BRITISH BECAUSE:
    >>>>
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    >>>>ambulance.
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
    >>>>way to the
    >>>>back of the store to get their prescriptions, whilst the healthy
    >>>>people
    >>>>can buy cigarettes at the front.
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. do people order double cheeseburgers, large
    >>>>fries and a
    >>>>DIET coke.
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. do banks leave both doors open and chain the
    >>>>pens to the
    >>>>counters.
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. do we leave thousands of pounds worth of car on
    >>>>the
    >>>>Drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. do we use answering machines to screen our
    >>>>calls and
    >>>>then have call waiting so that we won't miss a call from someone
    >>>>we didn't
    >>>>want to speak to in the first place.
    >>>>
    >>>>Only in Britain.. are there disabled car parking spaces in front
    >>>>of a
    >>>>skating rink.
    >>>>
    >>>>NOT TO MENTION....
    >>>>
    >>>>3 Brits die each year testing a 9 volt battery to see if it works
    >>>>on their
    >>>>tongue.
    >>>>
    >>>>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from
    >>>>new
    >>>>shirts.
    >>>>
    >>>>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    >>>>screwdrivers.
    >>>>
    >>>>31 Brits have died since 1996 through watering their Christmas
    >>>>tree while
    >>>>the fairy lights were plugged in.
    >>>>
    >>>>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that the
    >>>>Christmas
    >>>>decorations on the tree were chocolate.
    >>>>
    >>>>British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
    >>>>pulling
    >>>>accidents.
    >>>>
    >>>>101 Brits have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the
    >>>>soles of
    >>>>their feet since 1999.
    >>>>
    >>>>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 by trying on a new jumper with
    >>>>a lit
    >>>>cigarette in their mouth.
    >>>>
    >>>>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A & E in the last 2 years
    >>>>after
    >>>>opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    >>>>
    >>>>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of
    >>>>control
    >>>>Scalextric cars.
    >>>>
    >>>>AND FINALLY...
    >>>>
    >>>>In 2000, 8 Brits cracked their skulls whilst throwing up in the
    >>>>toilet.
    >>>>
    >>>>
    >>>>RULE BRITANNIA!!!!
  2. Epsos live each day as it comes

    nice poem lol
  3. Rudeboy New Member

    yeh niceee
  4. amzy New Member

    funny! :D
  5. smsc-mad smsc-mad.Remo.Fibbler1

    we are so clever! nice one, i like it
  6. adzlotus V i P Member

    nice poem man . i am soo proud to be E N G L I S H .

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